I thought about the word this morning on my walk with Big Daddy. PRESENCE. For the year, it was “my word” that one of my spiritual mentors, Sunny Dawn Johnston, chose for me. So when I returned home, I looked up the meaning:
“The state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.”
As we walked, I told Bill how much I appreciated him and everything he did for me. Then, in his natural jovial manner, he said, “It’s not what I signed up for,” as he laughed. For better or worse took on a whole new meaning when I was diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer. Because he is four years older, I thought I would be the one taking care of HIM!
I had foolishly forgotten the last time I skipped my “chemo injection.” After being postponed one year due to covid, our daughter’s wedding was finally happening. So naturally, I wanted to feel good, have energy, and enjoy the moment, as any Mother-of-the-Bride would. Besides, I am tumor-free, so what would it hurt to take a break? I had forgotten the horrific side effects once I started up again, but the memory came flooding back because I took December off to have energy and enjoy the holidays.
“Injection time” rolled around a week and a half ago - no big deal, I thought. I was good for a day and a half, and then the side effects came roaring back like they did the very first time I started on them in 2017. It took a week for my memory to kick in, and then I remembered. I told our daughter, Erica and Big Daddy to remind me of this if I ever want to stop again. It’s just not worth it. I had a rhythm going, and I broke it, but lesson learned, and I will soon be back to my “new normal.”
As I reflect on the word presence, I realize writing my book consumed me. Editing, cover design, re-proofing, and getting it sent off for formatting filled my days, and I didn’t allow myself to be present with much of anything else. I am one-third of the way through writing my second book, but I told my hubby that I will take the rest of the year off and be present, that when I have the energy, I want to enjoy it by doing some things that I love.
I have online classes to finish, angels and Christmas ornaments to make, jewelry and bracelets, painting and wall plaques; all these things are waiting for me. When I do something creative, it fills my soul and connects me with ME and, many times, God. There’s a cookbook I want to create and pictures to scan; the list seems like it could go on. However, for 2022 I am choosing to be PRESENT and enjoy every moment because we honestly don’t know how long we are here before we go home.
So, I want to ask, how are things going in your life? If you’re working, it can be all-consuming. However, when you can steal a couple of moments or even a day for yourself, I encourage you to reflect on this word and see how you show up in your own life. See how it makes you feel to be present. What have you not made time for recently? Remember, it could even be making time for YOU.
What will you do to be PRESENT today?
Much love and blessings to you!